For some reason lately my mind has been drifting a lot. It is not very uncommon for that to happen, but here is how it is different. I keep going back to two places where I have been before. The issue with that is, they are both out of the United States. I am not really sure why I keep going back to that place. It is interesting how a song, or phrase or something to that effect can take you back to a point in time.
One of the locations I went to 6 years ago this summer, and I can still see it plain as day as if I am still there. The location is New Zealand, I am not sure why I keep going back to the location. I went there six years ago for a missions trip, that lasted two months. I have always told people that I would be going back one day, but I meant more in the physical not in my own mind. It is interesting I can still see it perfectly clear, as if I was still there or a part of me was, and I am living this life here, while the other half or a one-third of me is.
One of the other locations is just like the first. I can still see everything as if I am still there, does that mean something is going on there? And my heart is just crying out for the people? The other location is Vietnam, I was there four years ago this summer. Let me explain something that a lot of people may already know but maybe did not realize. Vietnam is not a Christian country by any means. I was there to teach English in a classroom, but those students mean so much more to me then just a name on a piece of paper.
It is interesting how I keep getting these flash back memories, or moments as if I am there for a brief amount of time. Is it because I am not there? Or is it something else? I can not figure this out. I wish I could, wait if I was supposed to be over there right now would the doors not have been opened for me to go back? But oh yeah the doors are not open to that. So here I am in Omaha, not that it is a bad thing, but at times I wonder if I am supposed to stay here for my whole life. Why would God have called me to international missions just to stay here? I do not feel like Nebraska is supposed to be my mission field. There are a lot of other people who are called to be homes based missionaries I am not one of them.
Another thing my mind keeps replaying is something that happened six months ago. I am over the fact that it did happen, I have moved on but the memory factor part is still killing me. I wish i could remove those memories, not that they were all bad but yeah. Certin things still remind me , either a song or just a movie. Little simple things. It did happen for a reason, God had a hand in it the entire time but yeah, I have forgiven the person, and I have asked God to help heal me, but at times the pain is still there.My mind does not go there as often as it once did, but once in a while it still does.
Anyway in closing thoughts and remarks for now that is some of the things that have been on my mind latley. Just wanted to share some of what was going on. I know that God has a plan for me and somebody out there also but I am just wondering when all of that is going to come about.
Thanks for reading.