Are you there?

At times the heart can be the most open. And yet at other times it can be the most closed off. Sometimes even over the same issue, or the same topic. It is very interesting how this happens. I am not going to explain how it happens or why it happens. But sometimes I feel like that can be my heart all within the same day, or even the same hour.

I am tired of feeling that way. When will the joy that I have encountered before come back? I am not talking about my Christian walk here at all before anybody jumps to any conclusions. My Christian walk right now is something that each and every day is a new adventure true, but I have never been closer in my walk then i have been in a while. Each day God is teaching me new and exciting things. I am really interested to see where God is going to lead me next. I am talking about the joy of having someone else in my life with me. To share the ups and downs to be able to talk to her when I am having a bad day.

I do have friends that are here for me to support me and to pray for me, but just to have that closeness with one person again would be amazing. I know it sounds like I am complaining about this, and maybe to some degree I am. But this is my choice to write about what is on my mind. Back to the topic now. I know that the right person is out there for me. But in reality I am starting to question that. i feel like I am always going to be that good friend or that guy that it is ok to come talk to but never get to know deeper then  that. i know that attraction has a lot to do it with but that is not the only part. Personality has a lot to do with it also.

My question is are you there? I am here waiting and yes I know God’s timing is perfect. But just to know that you are around would be epic. I can just picture the two of us worshiping God together at the church. Holding hands while either one of us is driving. Having a home cooked meal. Hey I am not that bad of a cook. Sharing life, getting to know you for more than just you. To be there when you are alone or scared, to comfort me when I am down heartened. To get to know each others family. Is that really too much to ask? Just know that when we do meet that I am yours and I am going to be there for you no matter what. Just like I know you are going to be there for me as well. What ever bridges we may come across as a couple we will over come them. We will be there for each other to build and over come. To learn what trust and love means together.

I know this is part dream, but this is how I have been feeling lately. I am not just looking for a fly by night either, I am looking for a real relationship. But anyway, that is what is on my mind thanks for reading. Talk to y’all later

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