Leap of faith

A lot of people that I know have been asking me about faith, my self included and what that may or may not look like. More in the regards to the calling that God has placed on to us. And to know if that call is from God or is something that we want to do. Hebrews 11:1 —-“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Does that mean we need to have blind faith? By all means no or wait yes, it is confusing in that regards. That verse is saying step out of the faith and follow God. Psalms 119:105—“Your words is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.” God will light our way when we are unsure as to which direction to head towards, the bible is our map and we need to know the direction in which the Lord is leading us. The question that comes up is how will we know? Once again that comes back to faith, without faith we will not know where we are supposed to be headed or if we are doing what God wants us to do.

The next quote I am going to share is not from the Bible, but how many times in our lives do we sense God saying these words to us. “Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?”— That is from the movie Evan Almighty, but my question is how often can we relate to that in regards to our faith, in regards to anything really?

The questions posed in that quote are a good example of what faith is. God opens the doors for us to go through but the choice is up to us. We can ask things from God, but if we are unsure that God will help or if we lack faith, will God still be as likely to help us? Or will we have to figure that first step out on our own.Sometimes that is what it is going to take the first step, often we are scared due to the fact we are unsure of what is out there or if we are making the right choice. God will be with us still no matter what, and He will still guide us with the choice, but it will take faith, patience and prayer.

The thought of a leap of faith is not a new standing, but I feel as if it was best described in Indiana Jones and the last crusade. In the movie Indy is in search of the Holy Grail, and he has to encounter different steps along the way to test him. One of those steps is in faith, he gets to this ledge no way around it, he can not swing to the other side, or find a way to get around the opening. You can almost feel his heart beat as he approaches the ledge, is the hero of the movie going to die? His father is dying and only the Holy Grail can save him. He has to take that first step, he has doubts is scared half to death, and a million other reasons as to why not to do it. He takes that step over the edge, and there is a bridge, for him to walk across. But it all starts with a step a leap of faith.

 

Unite- tear down the walls

Each and everyday is a new blessing from God, to grow more in our faith, to learn more about His character so that we can be like Him,to have a fellowship that never ends no matter how many times we mess up.But how seldom do we take that for granted?When things are going good, we never think to thank Him, when things are going bad we start to get mad and curse Him. Even in our weakness it is a time for growth,we think that when things are going good with God we are growing. Not true, even in our weakest moments He is still present in our lives. I think I have done the most growth in my weakness of he who God is, and to know that He is that loving father always welcoming us home no matter what.

When we want to run away and hide, He is still there as our rock, and shelter.He is never going to leave or for sake us no matter how many times we run and hide, and shun His name. He is still ever just as present. When we are at the weakest moments in our lives, Satan tries to use those lies against us and tell us we are no good, not worthy to be in a healthy relationship, not worthy to be loved. Those are all lies he uses against us to keep us down and out. If there is something that we are holding on to, Satan will use that even against us reminding again that we are not worthy to approach the throne of Holiness and be one with God.

What is holding us back from going to the first love we had? We need to be reminded of the love that was there the passion that was there when we first came to the cross and return back to that Love.it  I think that this can happen in different ways, one is by the church uniting. By “church” I am not talking about denominations I am talking about the church as a body of believers. We need to take a stand and link arms, i think this is why Jesus got all pissed off in the temple. He knew that one day the church would be like that again, maybe not with money changers but with walls separating us. Going different directions, not joining up and having one passion to reach the lost, to bring them home to the cross. I know that some churches are united by a few events that is a start but there needs to be more then that. I would love to see a group of Christians join together down town to worship, and not just from the same church either, but a variety.

Warning!

Just as a warning, I am not sure how this blog entry into my life is going to turn out. There is a lot of thoughts going through the back of my mind, tonight. I am going to try to express them here. But once again how far can words really go? Words can come across as helpful, or hurtful within the same breath, it is never our entente to hurt someone. But seldom do we think about telling someone the truth,vrs coming up with reason not to talk about it. Why is the truth so hard to say? To tell someone, is it really that hard? What if “Jesus” never told us the truth about heaven? Let us try and figure it out on our own, or worse never tell us.

Where would we be at that point in regards to our relationship with God, with others. We would be lost and we would all die. Never have a shot at eternity. The bible would be never offered, we would be like theIsraelites wondering around in the desert trying to figure out where we are supposed to go next. Oh wait I am to that point now. It seems like every 8 months in my life or something to that effect, I find my self in that position. Where I get a glimpse of hope and enjoyment just to have the door slammed right back in my face. Then I get the privilege in wondering around the desert again.

I know that I am not alone out there, but the “sun” is hot and blistered, I want an escape, but whenever I try to escape, I get brought right back in. How much longer will I be lost? i have a road map to guide me home out of the desert, but it seems like there is no relief there either. I just want to be able to relax and not worry about anything turn my brain off, and kick everybody out of my life for even a few days. But we all know that would be a bad choice, the writing it helping with some of the stress, but it seems like then I………….. grrr I hate feeling like I am complaining to my readers, I do not want that lasting effect. I used to be better about espressing my self. But then doors started to close, and I felt like there was no outlet for  my reasons. So then I started a blog, but now even now I wonder should I really share or keep it inside?

That is what’s on my mind for tonight until next time happy reading, and have a great day/night or whenever you choose to read this entry.

on my mind.

The pain starts off small like a headache, the hurt starts the same way like a scraped knee. i wish I could bury those feeling of hurt and pain, and not let them resurface. But that is just a dream right? Those will always be there, and I will always be subject to them. Wish i could go back through my life and block out certain memories that caused that. See where it all started. And just block or delete those memories. I know that “God” does not keep track of our wrongs, our past, our hurts anything like that. But then why can we not do that also. It is very interesting how we can forgive someone for the hurts, scares, bruises and things like that. But even if we do forgive them, the memories will still be there. Burning holes in our minds. I know this sounds like I am depreased, and maybe I am. But quick reminder my blog, my thoughts. you are entitled to read it and offer feedback. But this is part of what I am going through. I know people care for me, and love me and do not want to see me hurt or in pain.But it is easier lately for me to express my self though word then in person or over the phone. Random rant there but once again it all works… So in closing going through a mild rough patch could use some prayer and a friendly word and maybe even a hug. Well until next time happy reading and take care.

The Quiet Man

A lot of you who claim to be my friends by now know what a John Wayne fan I am. I own a lot of his movies the memorabilia and a lot of other random stuff that I stated to collect when I was younger. When I was 5 or 6 years old I got introduced to my first John Wayne movie, maybe even younger. The move was not a western, or a war movie. I believe it is classified as a romantic comedy, had to picture the Duke in that type of role right? Well believe it or not it did happen.

The movie was called ” The Quiet Man”. It was released in September 14,  1952 over 30 years and 4 days before I was born. It stared John Wayne in the title role, of Sean Thorton. He is an American who returns home to Ireland, where he grew up. He moved back home to forget about the trouble that he had. While he is there he falls in love with Maureen O’ Hara, as Mary Kate Danaher. A local red head with a fiery personalty that he likes. But he is not used to the customs or the traditions of the old world.When he first arrives, he buys the land back that was his family land from back in the way old days.

One of the first struggles that he has is buying the land that was his family plot. The person that objects is Victor McLaglen  as Red Will Danaher. Mary Kate’s brother. From the very moment he meets Sean, they do not get along at all. So why would he change his mind to like him? Enter the village matchmaker, played by Berry Fitzgerlad, he is a fellow who would get along well with anyone, he is also the town bookie as we latter find out. Who tires to make peace between the characters, with his evil wicked ways. Eventually Sean and Mary Kate do end up together, but even then there dating and marriage is a wild ride.

There comes a point when Sean has to face his past and stand up for his believe, and do the one thing he wanted to forget and fight Will. Mary Kate is unsure as to why her husband will not fight her brother. During the reception scene, we have a flash back as to why Sean will  not fight again. In America as we also find out in another scene he was a boxer. In a fight he punched someone so hard that he killed them. And that is why he will not fight, and that is why he returned to Ireland. But sadly he does end up fighting. His wife thinks he is weak because he wont stand up and fight, so he has to make the hard choice.

Now at this point I could tell you how the movie turns out, and who wins but I wont. I do own the movie, and will gladly let you borrow it. I have it on both DVD and VHS. John Ford was at his best for direction of the film since that is where his family routes are being  Irish. It has that feel to it, like “welcome home you have been missed”. If you have never seen a John Wayne movie, or nothing other then his westerns check it out. It is surprising to me, how many people like John Wayne after seeing this movie. Or see that he is a good actor. The chemistry is simply magic, almost like Bogart and Bergman, or Tracy and Hepburn. Check this movie out, and share your own thoughts would love to hear your stories. Or if you have seen it share also. Until next time happy reading and movie watching.

At night

As I lay here looking up into the dark abyss of the night, my world almost feels as if it has stopped. The stars are illuminating all around me, the night sounds are all I hear. The fresh breeze is relaxing and cool, the moon shines bright upon me. As I lay here looking up I start to wonder how big the galaxy really is.  It looks so large compared to my life, but I know that someone did create all this.

I feel at peace with the night, it is a different peace then the  peace of mind that I feel around others. I am alone in my thoughts? Am I am able to truly be my self at night compared to the day? Where are these thoughts coming from? It is interesting how much more clearly I can think at night less distractions, less thought waves. But I am not asleep or dreaming.

The night though makes it easier to hide, yet I feel more open more vulnerable to the night compared to the day. I find it easier to hide in my shell in the day,but at night I come out of my shell. My thoughts come clear easier to express through written word. I feel like a poet or an author on some sort of trip to help them write, but I am not, the words that come out are on my mind and in my own thoughts.

The restless of the day keeps me chained up, yet at night I feel so alive, so as I lay here in the grass I wonder where will my mind go next in regards to my future. Now I know what Star Trek meant with : ” Space…. The final frontier…. To explore strange new worlds… To seek out new life; new civilizations… To boldly go where no one has gone before!”


Child’s view

The moment I entered the world, there was joy everything was brand new and exciting. My future was bright and full of promise. When I got sick everything seemed to change. My whole world was turned upside down. From a room I knew to a hospital. Why was I back in here? What was really going on? I was to young to know for sure. All I knew was I was scared to death. “Mommy who are these people?” I tried to ask but I had no voice. How long was I going to be in here?

Over the next few weeks it seemed a lot longer, but I was in and out of the hospital so much. They could not figure what was wrong. At times my parents were not always there to be with me, when I had to get different tests done. The nurses were very friendly and very educated, but I was still scared.The needles hurt the most when they had to poke me. The blood was drawn, the tests were done but no end in site. I kept getting sicker and sicker.

One day the doctor, was talking to both of my parents together, I was happy to see my daddy he did not come by as much. Him and mommy kept fighting. I felt like it was part my fault, but I did not mean to get sick, I never planed this. Daddy was holding me in his big arms when the doctor was talking. ” I am not sure what else we can do for your baby”, the doctor said. ” We have done everything we can for your baby.” Mommy started to cry, daddy put me back in my crib to hold her hand. Daddy asked a question next ” How much longer does our baby have?” The doctor did not know for sure, he looked just as scared.

The world as I knew it ended just as fast as it started. I took my last breath, the doctor said there was nothing else they could do.

Death

As I lie here in my bed I can hear voices of loved ones but they are getting dim.The next thing I know my loved ones are leaving but advising me they will be back shortly. Then there is a silence almost deaf. Just the sounds of the machines barely keeping me alive. I hear a nurse coming to check on me, she does not speak, just comes checks the machines and leaves. i feel alone as if no one can hear me try to scream out. Then there is nothing. A white light surrounds me, the room is then filled with people to check on me. But it is to late I have breathed my last. Remember me as if I am still with you even after death, remember the good times, the stories. The friendship will still be there even after I have left. Farewell

Happy

It is interesting how quick and unexpected happiness can come out of nowhere and totally surprise you. But at the same time it is those moments that I like the most also… so thank you for the happy moments in life. And also for the hardships also unique but without the hardships or the tougher moments we would not be able to truly appreciate the happy moments when we have them.

The adventure.. a work in progress.

This is a story that I am working on. I know it still needs some re-vision and some work done to it. I decided to publish what I had already written, to get feedback and any helpful ideas. All of this was written by me Adam Zikas DeFrancesco- any related stories are just chance.

The adventure that I am going to share with you is not for the faint of heart.It is  going to be a story that you will not want to put down either.The characters you will be able to relate to, cry with, laugh with. It is filled with excitement, but also a very serious situation that unfolds from within. This is a work of fiction but the places and the events are real. If something like this happened in one of those places I am not sure.So enjoy the first part of The Adventure.Oh before I forget all the characters are fiction as well, any real similarities or implied are random.

 

My name is Adam, and I am survivor of World War 2. Now when most people here this they think airborne or a ranger division or even a medic. Well I had a group of friends from each of those different fields. But mine was different. I was a Chaplin.I saw my fair share of a lot of blood and guts  ,it is part of what I am going to share but that is not necessarily the whole part of the story. More of a struggle with acceptance and finding out the truth.

 

I grew up in a small farm town of Nebraska, my dad was the local pastor for our town and my mother played the organ. it was me , and my older sister and our folks. i was the youngest in the family, buy about 5 years. My older sisters name was Jennifer, my mothers name was Linda, and my fathers name was Ronald. When I was growing up there were a few different life changing events that shaped who i am now. And who i will always be, because it affected those close to me. I hold the memory of them so close. But I am getting ahead of my self here, I need to slow down. My Sargent always told me that. Me and my sister were always together, we were a lot closer mainly due to the fact that the town were we lived there was not that many kids are age that were involved in church.By the time I was ten years old my dad was having me help with different projects around the church so was my sister.Our mom decided to home school us up until we were in high-school. When I was around six or seven years old me and my sister were swimming at the local swimming hole but something happened that day. My sister challenged me to jump off the bridge, I was scared but she promised that she would help me if i needed it. As soon as I jumped off the bridge I hit the water hard and my body went limp, my sister dove in right away to save me.she helped me to the shore and made sure i was breathing.Right after that she decided to jump off the bridge one more time and then said we would be leaving.She hit the water almost as hard as i did. But the difference is she did not come back up for air.She drowned the next thing i remember was somebody else diving in to save her. He pulled her out but he could not get her to start breathing again. I felt total to blame, it was all my fault despite how hard people tried to talk to me about it.Since then I have never viewed water the same way.

After that moment, I found in a way that my life changed and not for the better.My parents tried to tell me that it was all in my head, but I knew that things had changed.When i was 12 years old a friend came into my life a friend that would change the way I look at things, a best friend but at the same time even more.My parents decided to allow me to enter junior-high instead of waiting until high school to start mainly due to the lack of friends that i had in my life. The first few months were as hard as could be. I had a few friends that i had meet while at church camp but they seemed different when I was around them and their other friends, it might have been a head game but I am not sure.The friend that I am talking about is Cassie, she grew up not that far away from me but for some reason or another did not seem to notice her until we hit junior high.

She grew up in a two parent family not unlike how I grew up she had a older brother who was already in college.Her dad was unemployed and her mom worked at the local dinner since she worked so much it was just her and her dad. Something may have been going on, but I was not sure, she never wanted to go home. She would rather come to my parents and spend time with my mom and talk a lot to my dad. She was crying a lot, I never knew why but at the same time she never wanted to leave my side when we were together. She would even come to church early just to help start the fire in the stove.My mom had decided to give her some of Jenny’s old clothing, and then the next then you know her mom just took off. We latter found out she moved to Denver with a truck driver she meet. After that Cassie was never really the same. She never came back to church, her dad said it was a waste of time. I was upset because I was never aloud to go over to her house either. And the odd part was she was never aloud to come over to my parents house anymore either.

Something was going on with that situation, but I was not sure as to what. The next then I knew Cassie was being shipped off to Omaha to live with her Aunt and Uncle. I was really torn apart by that, we had just entered high school when this happened. We did however keep in contact over letters, and her aunt and uncle did let her come to church camp. I was thankful for that but something seemed different, but she never talked to me about it. High school was not the best time for me, everybody knew I was the “preacher’s son” and I never was really good at making friends anyway. bad combination looking back on it. I did however meet some really close friends at church camp my sophomore year, one of them Luke, would be my roommate in college even. We were the best of friends. Our senior year of high school we decided to be cabin leaders during the middle high camp.