Just as a warning, I am not sure how this blog entry into my life is going to turn out. There is a lot of thoughts going through the back of my mind, tonight. I am going to try to express them here. But once again how far can words really go? Words can come across as helpful, or hurtful within the same breath, it is never our entente to hurt someone. But seldom do we think about telling someone the truth,vrs coming up with reason not to talk about it. Why is the truth so hard to say? To tell someone, is it really that hard? What if “Jesus” never told us the truth about heaven? Let us try and figure it out on our own, or worse never tell us.

Where would we be at that point in regards to our relationship with God, with others. We would be lost and we would all die. Never have a shot at eternity. The bible would be never offered, we would be like theIsraelites wondering around in the desert trying to figure out where we are supposed to go next. Oh wait I am to that point now. It seems like every 8 months in my life or something to that effect, I find my self in that position. Where I get a glimpse of hope and enjoyment just to have the door slammed right back in my face. Then I get the privilege in wondering around the desert again.

I know that I am not alone out there, but the “sun” is hot and blistered, I want an escape, but whenever I try to escape, I get brought right back in. How much longer will I be lost? i have a road map to guide me home out of the desert, but it seems like there is no relief there either. I just want to be able to relax and not worry about anything turn my brain off, and kick everybody out of my life for even a few days. But we all know that would be a bad choice, the writing it helping with some of the stress, but it seems like then I………….. grrr I hate feeling like I am complaining to my readers, I do not want that lasting effect. I used to be better about espressing my self. But then doors started to close, and I felt like there was no outlet for  my reasons. So then I started a blog, but now even now I wonder should I really share or keep it inside?

That is what’s on my mind for tonight until next time happy reading, and have a great day/night or whenever you choose to read this entry.


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