The Thoughts

Its interesting how much you miss writing when it has been a while. Granted five days is not really that long of a time frame, but when you have thoughts building up it can seem a lot longer. What type of thoughts you may ask your self as the novel sets in for a long winter night. I would be shocked and amazed my self, if any blog of mine went over 1,000 words. Just throwing that out there in that for what’s worth section, but in all seriousness the thoughts are a good mixture of good and bad. But mostly good, considering my reputation for the written word lately.

The next thought though is where to start. Do I start with the positive, and get the happy thought out of the way first? And then end in a way that I am holding the box of Kleenex crying myself to sleep as I read it? Or for that matter switch it up where the happy is the end, and start over with the end of the story first? Hmm the thoughts that run through the mind at night. But when I get inspired to write, nothing can calm that down. At times that can be both a blessing and a curse, I tend to find my self more open about who I am when I write. Is that a bad thing? Well no, but at the same time I am not a paid writer, so when I get to that point what will I have to write on then? Considering how much of my life has yet to be unfolded there is still a lot to be told with my story.

I almost wish that there was a medium level to be reached with my thoughts, but there does not seem to be that sense of mind or peace. Even if I was to look back to a year ago as to where I was both with my job, different relationships, and even for that point my spiritual walk. But we are not supposed to dwell on the past, instead we are supposed to look towards the future. Then why does my mind drift so far to the past, there were a few good moments from a year ago in which I wish I could take back, but where would I be then? Random side note, it is interesting how deep at times my thoughts are, almost like they are trying to escape. Would it do any good, if I could reach back out? Would I be more happy then? By no means, I would have way more interesting blogs to share though lol. But that is neither there or here, I am a stronger person then I was a year ago just at times I miss the oneness with someone.

I know that every thing is part of God’s plan, but when will it be my turn to see the glimpse, or even more then a glimpse ? I wish that I had answer to almost give my self to feel more at peace, but sadly I do not. You can only be patient for so long before trying to take things into our own hands, is that in part what god is asking us to do? Be more self reliant, I do not think so but it is so hard just to wait. When we are self reliant though answers to prayer do come answered. I did promise some happy thoughts also, my job is going pretty well for the most part. I am thankful to have a job to where some degree I enjoy going there. I am thankful for the friends that are in my life and for that matter that want to invest into me. It is more interesting though so so few of them i have not even known for a year, yet I feel closer to some of them then people I have known almost my whole life. My parents are both doing well and as far as I know so are my sisters. I still have a place over my head and a jeep to drive. So in all reality not that bad of a life if ya think about it. Just at times, wish I had that someone special in my life, it is more the small stuff that I miss. But hey when it happens it will be epic cool.

Well my birthday is coming up in a week, it is hard to believe that I will already be 29, not to old yet but not getting any younger either. I will try to make a wish life of birthday ideas or goals I want to reach before 30…anyway that is all my thoughts for now.Best part kept it under the 1.000 words. Well happy reading, Adam


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