A thought

It is interesting when we can calm our brains down enough to be able to look around and truly appreciate what we have that is around us. Just over the past week I have been in this sort of mind set, is this good or bad? That I am still trying to figure out. But at the same time it is never a bad thing to be at peace with what encompass our day to day life’s. Now I am not talking about a spiritual concept of the idea of peace, that may be a part of it. But there might even be a stronger force of peace then what even we know.

As some of you may or may not know this year has not been the best for me, or even the easiest. But still somehow even through all that I have still come out on top, and not buried near the bottom. There are a lot of close friends and even a few friends that I may not know as well who have helped in this transition. But a lot of it has come from searching. The term peace can be defined as freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. Well that by far does not explain my year at all. So where is this inter tranquility coming from? It seems this year compared to others I have been more stressed more on edge even with those closest to me. Not being able to relax and be my self, so where is this coming from? Is it due to perhaps since the first time in over a year I am actually happy? Be able to just sit back and enjoy the moment? Know that someone special is part of my life again? I think a lot of that may come from that, but once again what is the bigger picture that I am missing?

To examine that concept I am going to use a phrase in which I never thought I would use. “In order to love somebody else, you have to love yourself.” That is such a deep and powerful quote and even to some instinct almost haunting. Maybe I have come to that point, where I can look up and see where I was unable to love my self. And now I realize that I am confident within my self to where I do love my self, enough to be able to pass that love on. Like anybody I still have my shares of doubts about my self, but if I do realize that those are just faults that others have put on me. And not the way I really am, then to a degree I can bury that part of me. And remind my self that I am stronger, then the doubts that have followed me.

It is almost a fresh of breath air, to be able to say ” to hell with the past” I am stronger then that. But yet it still tries to hold not just me but so many others so down. The past has in interesting way of sneaking up on us when we least expect it. But if we do not dwell on that moment, and realize that we are not the same person as we were then. Then we will be able to stand up under it, and take a stand. I am talking just as much to my self here, as anybody who may read this. But it is truth. Well that was my thought that I was thinking of until next time Happy Reading Adam

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Well I made it!

Let me explain before anybody jumps to any conclusions here. When I started this blog near the end of  March in no way, did I ever feel like I was going to reach 70 blogs. I did not even realize that I was that close to that mark. I have achieved that goal, my goal next is to reach 100 blogs by March. Is that a dream or can I do it? Well as most of you know of how inspired I get at times. I say that is a good goal to reach for. Plus if I did 100 blogs a year for the next few years my writing may even improve.

When I started this blog I did not know how or what direction to follow. But slowly the ideas started to come, like a down pour on a rainy day. And now it seems as if nothing is going to stop. Yes I do go through times where I may not write that often. But believe me that dream and ideas are still there so in a sense nothing is stopping the dream. My question is though for next year should I do more theme blogs or break it down into various thoughts or blogs.

This may be a shorter blog, sadly there is not much to be written that has not already been said or written. I have no idea at the present time. Give me a week on that. Anyway thanks for always supporting me and remember Happy Reading Adam

Ps if you have any ideas that you would like me to cover or topics please feel free to share.

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012 Part 4 of 4

So the other day I wrapped up the year in review. I could guess for each month how the new year of 2012 might go, but at the same time God only knows for sure. So instead of making resolutions and things of that nature… instead I am going to write a list of goals that I have for the new and up coming year. If I get all of these goals accomplished we shall see with time and patience.

1) Get to over 100 blogs by March… that is when I started my blog and wow if they only knew what they were thinking when thy suggested me starting a blog lol.

2) By  April or May and if anyone wants to keep me in check for this one awesome…. have a plan figured out for going back to school by August. For those of you who know what a huge choice that would this would be a major step in the right direction for me.

3) Have a steady job and starting paying off  any bills that I have left to figure out try to get my fiances in order…. Another big goal for me. But something tells me 2012 is going to be good for me.

4) Have an amazing birthday party in September…. ok this one will be the epic out of the 20’s and into a new decade, yes folks I am really that old lol lol but I was thinking of maybe two birthdays one of anybody and one for select few friends going out.. start planing this now ,lol

5)Be a lot closer in my walk with the Lord then I am now. yes granted this should be my first goal as it is. But that is going to mean me being more open to those who are closer to me. Letting them know what is really going on when I am upset the first time.

6)Be looking for a new automobile… let me explain this one also while me and Moe my jeep have had a good run of going on 4 years this August, but he is starting to have issues 😦 I do not want to leave him but sadly the cost to keep him updated would be to much… please do not tell him 🙂 jk

7) Try and have monthly dinners at my house… ok I know people can get busy with life… but the way I look at it wy not relax with a home cooked meal, and some great company.

8) Me and my friends are thinking of going to Comic Con this year in San Diego. It would be an amazing experience if we could pull this off, lol  but I know that may seem like a smaller goal, but I have never been to anything like that.And other then Iowa no offense it has been since 09 since I left the state. cabin fever starting to effect.

That is all the goals I have for right now, if I can think of any to add latter I for sure will, but until then have a safe and happy new year… and Happy Reading, Adam

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012 Part 3 of 4

September another year older and richer in debt. That is exactly how it seems at times as your birthday draws closer. So here I am at a new job, which is going  well about to get done with training. About to hit the floor on our own. We are still in OJT but our regular schedule takes effect. My birthday comes and goes, this year I went to karaoke with a group of great friends. I am not sure how many where there all together, but yeah it was totally a fun night. The one down side for the month, the job I got I lost. Now let me try and explain this, picture if you will a job where you agree with a customer. About a policy but in turn you are just repeating back what they said trying to gain compassion from them. Just to get fired really? Oh well it is just a job right?

October well the time ad gone and passed still no job. Still wondering what is out there in that regards, but I mean in all reality though everything else is going great. My walk with the Lord is starting to turn back full circle, it seems like everything else is starting to fall back into place. So no complaints really to speak of. By the end of the month I found anew job, I was really excited the day I got it!, I got turned down by two places earlier that same day. Blessing in hidden form. I thought that this would start to solve some financial issues and I would get right back on track. Also I went to a Halloween party through the church group Pergo Dues, it was fun for the most part. After I got home from that I went and catched up with other friends.

November a chance to be thankful, I wish that there was a way to show that same thankful attitude through out the whole year as well. My friends all I can say is without them in my life I am not sure where I would be.Right before Thanksgiving I had a flat tire. A friend helped me change it and got the tire for me. The very next day, I had another flat tire, this time on my driver side front. A friend of mine that I have known for years got me two brand new tires for my jeep, at no cost to me at all. I am very thankful for the generosity that they showed me. Also on November 23, the new Muppet movie came out. Yes I am that much of a dork lol but I think most of you have figured that out by now lol. It was really good, paid good tribute to the Muppet’s and the original artists that brought them to life from the start. So for the most part November was a good month.

December, Mary Christmas Happy Kwanzaa and Happy Hanukkah just covering all my bases for every reader. The month did not really start off the best. I lost my job, and it seems as if there is nothing really at all out there in relation to work. I know I am going to find something soon though, but right now it just seems tougher and tougher with work. The holidays are upon us again, sad part there is very little snow. I am not sure how the sleigh will work though. But anyway that is my year in review the next portion is going to be a list or dreams that I want to try and accomplish for next year. So happy new year and Happy Reading, Adam

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012 Part 2 of 4

So just to fill everybody in on what i am doing right now for my blog. I am doing a year in review month by month going over some highlights and some down falls as well. I am not going into specific situations b names and things of that nature, but once it is finished it will make sense. Just wanted to pre set the notion of what was going on in case someone new is joining us.

May John Wayne’s birthday, ok so for April I thought of something funny to highlight I figured it could not hurt again. For the most part May was an interesting month to say the least, my job situation was getting a lot tougher each and every day I wondered why I was still going there I found no joy there at all. To break it down I think I was a little depressed also about a few other things but work was not helping at all. As far as where me and God were, lets just say God loves me and has a funny sense of humer when I least expect it.

June is a nice weather month? Any way the stress of the job was really starting to get to me more. It seemed like I could never fully relax and be my self.  When I was off work I was thrilled but then disappointment when I had to go in the next day, But there was a highlight to that summer of 2011, wow inter voice monologue coming out.My self and a friend that I had known for about 9 years decided to date. We were both really excited but super nervous at the same time. But other then that my jeep was doing good, I was missing a headlight though. But I did get that fixed. Some of my friendships were still going strong with Underground and also in other aspects.

July how to break down a month with a lot of downs without sounding like I am putting my self down? Well the month started out great but me and my friend decided it would be a better choice for both of us if we remained friends. I understood, but it still hurt a little bit. Me and another friend decided to get out of Omaha for a overnight and visit another friend. We saw Transformers 3 in his home town, then we helped him deliver his mom’s paper route in the pouring rain. I enjoy getting out of Omaha just to have time to reflect and think. A highlight about the month I had a job interview and I got to put in my two weeks at the hospital… finally out of Hell lol.I did get a job but more on that next month. My walk with God was not going well at all, I was starting to deeply question my walk. I hide a lot of what was really going on. The last downside of the month came near the end… in all reality I am still trying to figure out why this happened. My ex from a year ago mind you sent me a letter with some pictures. I was like why ? I never responded to the letter or anything…. why you may ask… Because I am more mature then that lol in fact I burned it. Why try to reopen scars that have healed….

August back to school right? Wrong that is going to be my goal from 2012 even if it is metro to start so next August we shall see. Anyway back to the month, I got a new job at a call center again, it had been over two years since last I worked at one. I was nervous but excited all at the same time. Also I got a phone again, ok let me explain this over the summer I got behind on a payment. So therefore I was using track phones and things like that, no dis respect to those that may have them. But that was not the best for me… harder to keep track of people and find out what was going on. As far as my relationship with God was going… lets just say it was there, is where it could have been? Probably not but then again we are only human, not that I am making an excuses. A highlight for the month other then getting a new job lol, was the fact that I got to see a friend that I had not seen in 6 years! It had been way to long, but the day that we got to spend together was amazing. So that for sure was a plus, I finally got to feel like I was relaxed again. Happy Reading  Adam

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012 Part 1 of 4

It is so interesting to look back on this year. All of the different events that have taken place, all the new friends I have made, and all the old ones I have lost. I know it may seem odd to do one of these 8 days before the new year begins. But then again we will never know where any of us will be. So I figured I would jump the gun and get the year in review blog started.

January well nothing really to report for this month to speak of. I had been going to Glad Tidings young adult group called Underground for about a month and a half at this point. Everybody seemed very outgoing and accepting, part of that may have been due to the fact that I was still new. But I know there was more to that. When I first started going, in a way I was just looking for chance to start over. Go where no one knew me and knew my story. But I soon started to grow into fellowship with this church.

Febuary still going to Underground checked out another group as well called Pergo Deus,they meet on another night so I figured it would not hurt to give it a try. But something drew me back to Underground. I could tell that God was starting to totally transform me into a new person. I have made a few friends by this point which is always good for me. My damn memory was still tryng to catch up with me. With memories from the past. I think a lot of it had to do with Valentines days and being alone. There  was a select few that I felt like I could trust so I started to talk to them more.

March still going to Underground when I could, but do to my work situation I was working a lot more. That is not a bad thing at all, but I felt like my walk was starting to falter a little bit. But I was still making it when I could, my friendships were still going strong though. Not just there but also my other friendships as well. Another positive I got my net-book computer, that way I could get on the internet and not have to go to my parents house. And thanks to a few good friends got inspired to start a blog. It is interesting to look back, how when I started maybe my first blog was less then 75 words to my now over 1,000 sometimes blogs.

April tax time lol well that and also I went on a retreat with Underground. It was to a camp that I used to go to when I was younger, it is where my faith journey started really. That weekend turned out to be something that I had been needing this  for a while now up to this point. God broke a lot of walls down that I had built up over my heart. It is amazing how God does that when we least expect it.

 

Love is…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.   Love never fails. 1 Corinthians paints the picture of a type of love, a love that we as all Christians should try and cling to in our daily lives. But the interesting thing is so seldom do we show this to the outside world, we as Christians are not living in a bubble of how the world should be like.  Romans 12:9 paints this picture for us. “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” When we show the love of Christ to others do not due it have full, but do it 100 percent. A longer blog may come latter with this… we shall see but until then Happy Reading Adam

True Colors

When you hear the phrase “true colors” what are some thought that may come to mind? Maybe your inner beauty, or perhaps your hidden talents that you may not even realize that you have. But I am going to talk about a different type of true colors here. This a play by play of how God views our true colors, not as we do but how he sees them through our lives. I am going to use biblical examples of how God views us and how He is there even in the midst of our minds He is not. Both new and old testament scripture to back this up as well.

1) Fact about God that so many people get turned around, He knows us better then we know our self. Meaning while we just see the outward shell of someone God notices the persons heart.

1 Samuel 16:7—“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Right there we notice the way someone looks or acts, but do we even consider what there heart looks like?  Challenge,  this week try and ask God for His eyes when you look at someone. Ask to see there heart not just there outward shell.

2) Ever feel like you are not where you belong? Fell like you should be doing so much more? Ever ask your self why you are where you are?

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

He knows what is best for us even though there are times when we may have doubts or mixed feelings about that. 3)  Even if we are in a situation that seems bleak and no future.

1 Corinthians 10:13–” No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

God will not nor ever put us in harms way. At times we may question and wonder that aspect but He knows what is best for us.

4)Do not fear your past trying to catch up and destroy you, nor let your fear try and control you. Your past is behind you for a reason, nothing should try and bring that up and destroy the present.

Isaiah 43:1,18&19—“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. ”  ““Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!

1 John 5:4–For whatever is born of God overcomes the world,and this the victory that overcomes the world–our faith.

God wants to create new, He wants to transform the past and make it a new creation. The old is gone and the new has risen. He loves the way we are now He does not want us to live in shame and sin, but He does want a personal relationship with us. We are overcomers, but the question is when we will see this trying to shine through?

5) We are not alone in the battle, God does not want to see us fall short. He has given us power to overcome all.

2 Timothy 1:7–For God has not given us a spirit of timidity but of power .and love ,and discipline.

Philippians 4:13– I can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.

2 Corinthians 3:12—Therefore since we have such a hope, we are very BOLD

We are meant to be stronger then we are, but when times come we so seldom run and hide. But take heart and faith God is still right beside you every step of the way. Let the strengths shine through and nothing will be able to stop you. Let go and take God, I heard someone say that once. That is the step so amny of us need to take.

7) The bible is a weapon to use not only against the enemy but also against your friends in junior high (just joking about the last part) But the bible is God’s holy word. It is inspired by God and not of man. But that is not the only weapon we have either. We also have the armor of God, with us also. We need to add that every day.

Hebrews 4:12—For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Ephesians 6:11-17 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

8) The bible should be the bases for how we live our daily lives. Without using the bible in our daily life’s we are open to attack from the enemy. We can use the Bible to defend our faith but to also shine a light. God’s word will always be, nothing will change that.

Psalms 119:105—Your word is a lamp for my feet,   a light on my path.

Isaiah 40:8—The grass withers and the flowers fade. But the word of our God stands forever.

There are so many more examples of what our true colors could be,  I went of track a bit but something tells me it will be encouraging to read. Just remember that you are never alone in this battle of life. God is with you every step of the way.And know that I will be there as well if you have any questions or just need to talk. Happy Reading Adam

To the one that God created to be with me

At times I wondered if you were even out there, a part of this world. But I know that I was not meant to live this life alone. Since the day that you first came into my life I knew that there was a connection between us. It is hard to really explain how I sensed that. My heart has gotten the butterflies before, but with you they have not left yet. All these years latter, I am still blessed to have you right by my side every day. I know that this was never a easy journey but we have overcame a lot of obstacles over the years.

When I first meet you I was to be honest afraid to tell you how I felt, afraid that I was not good enough, why would you give a guy like me a chance? But as we started the friendship, which led to a engagement and now a marriage. All I have to say is how lucky I am to have you by my side. I still remember the first day we meet, we had sen each other a few times but never really started up a conversation until we were in that small group. Going with the group for coffee and group stuff I was really happy each time that you came. I may have never told you this, but I am sure you could tell how much of crush I had on you right away. Silly looking back on that now.

I knew it would take a lot to ask you out. But through prayer and God leading my steps I was able to. I was so nervous the first time we held hands, but it also felt so magical, like this is what I was missing. Your hand fit mine perfect, but even with that I knew that we had a long journey ahead of us. When we had our first fight, I thought I was going to loss you forever.That was probably the hardest two weeks when we did not talk. Each night I would pray that there would be a way to connect. But over that time we did grow in our walk with the Lord. And through that we grew stronger. And we did get brought back together. But the trust had to be brought back into the light, we had to agree to always communicate and not hold anything back. Even if we knew it would hurt to hear what the other person had to say. But we did come through that time, and in turn we did grow stronger. I feel like that was a mile stone in our relationship.

A year and a half latter when we were talking about marriage more seriously, I was nervous but excited. I knew that I was going to be spending the rest of my life with my best friend. The women that God created to be with me. That is why I was excited, plus a million more reasons. The nervousness was just me trying to think is this really going to happen one day? But we both knew that this was where we were going to end up. God had set the path to motion when we had first meet, and we were still together. Yes we did have our shares of ups and downs, along the way so far but we knew deep down inside this was meant to be.

Kenny Loggins put it best in his song “For the first time” “For the first time I am looking in your eyes For the first time I’m seein’ who you are I can’t believe how much I see When you’re lookin’ back at me” Those words are exactly how I felt when you were standing across from me the day we got married and to this day I still believe it also. But those were not the only thoughts I had. When the pastor read from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a —- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails….. To this day that is still my vow to you. I promise i will always love you and be by your side no matter what. God knew what He was doing when He brought us together, it was His hand in the plan all the time. Than you for being my best friend and I will always love you.

Happy Reading ,Adam

 

 

Why I write

A lot of people have been asking me why I write , what caused me to start writing. As I was trying to thin of how to answer that, I found a journal entry answering that very question. After you read this hopefully it will make a clearer picture as to why I write.

My words feel as if they are a fresh spring rain. There is a slight chill, the words start to feel warm and refreshing. On the inside it feels as if my words, are just washing away. Are my thoughts getting across making a point and trying to reach a target audience? Those are questions and even some (thoughts)  instinctive choices that writers go through when they choose there next project.

Why as a blogger do I choose to share this with you? By no means or standers even at that point, would I classify my self as a writer, in that profession anyway. When I write do I even picture an audience reading this, or do I write manly write to write? Do I do it in a way to help encourage “them” or do I write to encourage my self?

Let me set up a picture in your mind when a painter pants unless he or she is given a task or something to paint do they still want to paint? To some degree maybe but it it is also a passion. I have a passion to write, that is why I like to write. But when I write where do my topics come from? I have no one advising me on how or what to write. It comes from my heart. Sometimes I may ask for ideas or topics, but what I write comes from my heart. Happy Reading Adam.