It is interesting when we can calm our brains down enough to be able to look around and truly appreciate what we have that is around us. Just over the past week I have been in this sort of mind set, is this good or bad? That I am still trying to figure out. But at the same time it is never a bad thing to be at peace with what encompass our day to day life’s. Now I am not talking about a spiritual concept of the idea of peace, that may be a part of it. But there might even be a stronger force of peace then what even we know.
As some of you may or may not know this year has not been the best for me, or even the easiest. But still somehow even through all that I have still come out on top, and not buried near the bottom. There are a lot of close friends and even a few friends that I may not know as well who have helped in this transition. But a lot of it has come from searching. The term peace can be defined as freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. Well that by far does not explain my year at all. So where is this inter tranquility coming from? It seems this year compared to others I have been more stressed more on edge even with those closest to me. Not being able to relax and be my self, so where is this coming from? Is it due to perhaps since the first time in over a year I am actually happy? Be able to just sit back and enjoy the moment? Know that someone special is part of my life again? I think a lot of that may come from that, but once again what is the bigger picture that I am missing?
To examine that concept I am going to use a phrase in which I never thought I would use. “In order to love somebody else, you have to love yourself.” That is such a deep and powerful quote and even to some instinct almost haunting. Maybe I have come to that point, where I can look up and see where I was unable to love my self. And now I realize that I am confident within my self to where I do love my self, enough to be able to pass that love on. Like anybody I still have my shares of doubts about my self, but if I do realize that those are just faults that others have put on me. And not the way I really am, then to a degree I can bury that part of me. And remind my self that I am stronger, then the doubts that have followed me.
It is almost a fresh of breath air, to be able to say ” to hell with the past” I am stronger then that. But yet it still tries to hold not just me but so many others so down. The past has in interesting way of sneaking up on us when we least expect it. But if we do not dwell on that moment, and realize that we are not the same person as we were then. Then we will be able to stand up under it, and take a stand. I am talking just as much to my self here, as anybody who may read this. But it is truth. Well that was my thought that I was thinking of until next time Happy Reading Adam