It is so interesting as of lately things have been starting to look up, yet there is a underline of fear still looming. I am not sure really how to explain this either. A lot of thoughts just keeping playing over and over, not all bad either mind you. My mind does not know how to relax. Or maybe I do not know how to relax, maybe I just do not know how to be my self.
I hate that feeling of being alone. I am dating the most amazing caring girlfriend a guy could seriously ask for. But there are times when we are talking and I still feel alone, is this natural though to feel this way? My friends mean the world to me, but the past few times I have gone out and ventured with a select few I still felt alone despite being with them. This summer has a good chance of being amazing though, that is when my girlfriend will move down here. Random to place in there right after my friends but I try to hold on to those who care for me in a very special spot in my life. I am very grateful to all of them for being there to help me out or just even being there to talk, yet I still feel alone.
Some of you may be wondering where God is through all of this adventure as of lately. Well since most of you know how open I am in my blogs I will tell you. I am not sure where God is right now through all of these situations. I can not remember the last time I prayed or even read my bible. It has been over a month since I went to a church of any kind, or somewhere around that time frame. I know that God is still looking out for me through all of this adventure of life though. Just wish there was a big picture He could paint me. And show me what the next steps might be. I am not sure the direction God is leading my dating relationship either. I have asked Him, but maybe I am too afraid of being alone, that seldom I do not wait for His response.
I know this is not going to be a longer well thought out blog as some of my others, but to be honest I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out there just to share. Until then Happy Reading Adam