As the first frost falls on the ground, that is how my heart is still due to the hurt and the pain. My heart may be huge, but it beats a quiet beat.Afraid to share the love that has been locked away, afraid of the pain once again. Will I love again can I love again? My heart use to be full of life able to love, it would beat eagerly as I waited for you. But alas no more.

It once was on fire full of love and hope that are now shattered dreams. Can my eyes be open to a love again? Or will I retreat and hide afraid of old scars opening and new wounds piercing my flesh. But now the cold has sealed my heart. Waiting for the spring to come and melt away the frozen gate that has kept my heart closed.

I thought that for a time that my heart was open again that spring had freed me. But I was wrong the cold sunk back into my life right when I started to see the flowers start to bloom. The pain is almost at times to much to handle. Is it to much to ask for me to find a love as well? I see others that are dating that become engaged, and the entire time I wonder will it be my turn ever? I know that the timing has to be right and along with God’s plan, but I am tired of waiting on God to set the course of my love life into order.

I know that I have been given chances to feel free and not feel frozen when it comes to my heart. But yet so many walls are still there, I get a glimpse of what that love could look like only to be either shot down or to put down. Am I complaining I know it may seem like that. But in all reality I am not, I am just wondering when it will be my turn to fall in love. Now I know that not everything in a relationship is happy all the time, that they take work and patience.  But I am willing and ready to work on those as they come up.

Happy Reading Adam


One thought on “Untitled

  1. Adam, As a brother in Christ who got married 2 months before my 34th birthday I feel your pain. I remember telling Jesus for 2 years prior to my wedding(when I didn’t see any prospects) that I was glad that He was fully God and fully man when He walked this earth; that He understood in EVERY possible way how I felt. When I was 33 and a half(days before my eyes were opened) I told Him that I was grateful that I was complete in Him(Col. 2:9) and that I had been experiencing His care and that even if He NEVER gave me a wife I would accept His good and perfect will. No woman can complete you Adam. I urge you to rest in Him alone; maybe He will give you a wife some day; maybe not. He promised to supply all your needs; not all your wants. In the meantime HE always is enough. love you bro. Keep clinging to the King. tom

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