Walking from death into life.

As I walk along life’s long, somewhat winding road, I seldom feel the urge to stop and take in the scenery around me. In the back of my mind, there exists a nagging thought, a thought that paralyzes me, causing me to resist this urge for fear of getting hurt. I know I’m tired of feeling this way, my mind aches at the thought. I’ve let this thought, this feeling guide my journey for far too long though and I am honestly afraid of getting hurt again. What if I get hurt though, so what? Yes it is a risk, but are we truly ever living life if we aren’t taking any risks? There are so many questions left unanswered, causing unsettling feelings from the past to race forward and fill the void. Until I answer those questions and deal with those feelings, I cannot move on. Why am I trapped in this pattern? The journey has a lot of twists and turns. Many paths, many trails ahead of me, each leading to a seemingly different destination. Alas, I must stay focused.

In front of me is a cross, behind me is the past. Beyond the cross is eternal life. While my past may try and burden me and weigh me down, my eyes are still focused on YOU. To the left and to the right my eyes wander, trying to figure out if the road less traveled would be the easier way to go. Instead I choose the path that is riddled with potholes, covered with seemingly endless burdens. As I approach the cross I sense no judgment, I sense no questioning as to what took me so long to get to this point. I sense freedom and newness, feelings that I have not felt since the days of my youth. My eyes slowly drift to a book, a book unlike nothing I have seen before. It gives me an indescribable sense of freedom to read the book, I feel like it was written just for me. I know that it was written for others as well. It is a love letter, from Abba my true Heavenly Father, who created me and is giving me this second chance at life.

As I fall to my knees I feel the burden becoming less and less heavy, I sense it leaving me all at once as if someone is taking it off of me. I look around and see no one. Before me is the cross ,as I am on my knees looking up someone hands me the book. I open the book to Isaiah 53,But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. My eyes start to water up but I still continue to read.He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

I start to wonder why? But at the same time I feel at peace, knowing that Jesus would go through all this for me. Shame started to sink in, I felt as if God was telling me directly to” have no fear. I loved you before the world was created, I knew you were going to wonder but My love for you has covered every wrong that you have committed. You are My Child my Prince or Princess and nothing will ever change that. Happy Reading, Adam

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Cruising the Seven Seas……

…I’ve decided to go off the deep end and indulge in some dreaming here.  A friend and I have had some hypothetical discussions on and off about taking a boat and drifting down the ‘Muddy Mo’ (Missouri River) into the Gulf Of Mexico, out into the Atlantic…..yadda, yadda, yadda.  Basically taking a boat and just cruising the days away……*(this assumes money is NO object, through some crazy stroke of fate….)

The Boat:  Chaparral’s 370 Signature Cruiser

(Link Here)

If money is no object, why limit oneself to a boat so seemingly small?  The answer is simple – even with some options and a full load of fuel, this is the largest boat able to be towed with conventional vehicles – i.e. ones you can buy from major manufacturers (GM/Chrysler-Dodge/Ford etc)…….scroll down to the ‘Where Ye Be Sailing’ section for more on this.

If you could guess by the Class/Title of the boat…..this is a roughly 37′ Cabin Cruiser – sorta like the Cadillac DTS or Buick Lucerne of boats.  The main deck layout is typical of most sport boats/cruisers with the cockpit & a small 2-3 person settee forward and a spacious ‘J’ shaped lounge & granite-covered wetbar aft.

Down below is where this beauty shines.  The interior can be separated into three separate sections-the forward cabin, the salon and aft cabin.

The forward cabin is the ‘master bedroom’ of sorts with a bed that looks to be somewhere between twin + queen in size, a small skylight and subdued lighting with a cedar lined closet and 1 of 2 included flat screen TV’s.

The main cabin/’salon’ is the main living space, with the galley on the port (left) side and dinette to starboard (right).  The galley is par for the course in this class–with a granite countertop, two-burner stove, mini-fridge and microwave.  The dinette is also par for the course, with a filler cushion that allows the dinette to transform to a third bed (or ‘berth’).

The aft cabin (directly under the cockpit) takes the form of a spacious ‘U’ shaped lounge with a table in the center.  Like the dinette, a filler cushion transforms this into a second bed, however on this particular model, it’s optional.

Speaking of options….this is the part where it gets good.  Here are the added options I’m going with.

-Twin Mercury 8.2L 380HP Engines

-Cockpit Gas Grill

-Premium Speaker Upgrade w/Amp & Subwoofer

-Garmin 5212 GPS w/4ft Open Array Radar

-Flat Screen TV/DVD Player in Aft Cabin

-Electric Table *(in the main cabin, push a button and it will raise/lower automatically)

-Fiberglass Hardtop

Throw in another $8500 or so for a trailer and you’re looking at a total of roughly $425,634 not including licensing and other such fees.  About the only bone I have to pick with this is the fact that the cockpit is not completely enclosed.  To do that, you’d have to step up to Chaparral’s 420 (42-Ft) Sport Yacht…….the dry weight (weight w/o fuel) of which far exceeds the towing limits of even the stoutest trucks.

Where Ye Be Sailing

Roughly put–the pacific, gulf of mexico, atlantic & caribbean.

Obviously though, we’re not going to be circumscribing the globe in the boat……it’s too small, with too little fuel capacity to make a cruise of that magnitude – so, given that I deliberately picked this boat based on its size, driving cross-country would be the only option.  Why not too?  If money’s no option, that who gives a damn about gas prices.

Soooooo……it comes down to tow vehicles.  Hell, why limit the fun to the open water when you can toss a cross country road trip or two in the mix as well??  Originally, I had picked out GMC’s Sierra 3500HD Denali……..a hardcore, down-N-dirty Heavy Duty (dual rear wheel) Sierra with an interior ripped out of a Buick (where the ‘Denali’ moniker comes from).  However, after doing some research into towing capacities, technology et al……I actually discovered, of the Big 3 auto manufacturers (GM/Ford/Chrysler-Dodge), Ford goes the extra distance (and so does their web site).

You see, the above noted manufacturers have their passenger trucks separated into light (GM-1500, Ford-F150, Dodge/Ram-1500) and medium (GM-2500, 3500; Ford-F250, F350; Dodge/Ram-2500, 3500) duty lines.  Big-bore V8′s of between 4.7 and 6.0L displacement are standard, with even bigger, stouter diesels of between 6.6-6.7L displacement and axle ratios ranging between 3.42 and 4.30 on the larger ranges.  Like I said, Ford goes the extra distance.  Whereas GM/Dodge-Ram top off their passenger trucks at the ’3500′ series…..Ford continues one more step with the F450.

The top-shelf ‘King Ranch’ edition F-450 comes in a singular body style/powertrain configuration–Crew Cab (4DR) with an 8ft bed/box powered by a 6.7L ‘PowerStroke’ V8 TurboDiesel mated to a Heavy Duty ‘TorqShift’ 6-speed automatic transmission.  It comes with a standard 4×4 drivetrain layout and a 4.30 Axle Ratio*

*(Axle Ratio = Ratio between revolutions per minute of the driveshaft and rear axle.  Higher numbers are generally indicative of greater towing power, while lower numbers point towards better engine/fuel efficiency)

The maximum rated 5th-wheel towing capacity for an F-450 with the aforementioned engine (6.7L TurboDiesel) and axle ratio (4.30) is 24,500lbs.

(5th Wheel Trailering Guide–http://auto.howstuffworks.com/auto-parts/towing/vehicle-towing/trailer/fifth-wheel-towing.htm)

Now, starting off with the top-shelf ‘King Ranch’ edition F-450 and tossing in a few niceities that enhance the capabilities (Camper Pkg/5th Wheel-Gooseneck Hitch Prep Pkg/5th Wheel Hitch Kit) and appearance (King Ranch w/Chrome Pkg/Power Moonroof), we come to a grand total of $68,525 for this leviathan–excluding tax, title and license naturally.

Okay, okay…….so after finding and outfitting a certified ‘Prius-Killer’ to tow our boat, back to the subject at hand–’Where Ye Be Sailing’.

For our first adventure, I had a leisurely cruise down the Missouri in mind–from somewhere around Sioux City, down to the Gulf of Mexico, go in a circle there around the Gulf and come on back up, getting off as close to Omaha as possible.

Beyond that….a road trip to Seattle or Portland looks to be in order, followed by another leisurely cruise down the Pacific Coast to San Diego or LA and another road trip back to our home base here for maintenance, refueling and restocking.

I pegged our journey in the Atlantic as a two-stage adventure beginning with a road trip east and north ending and launching at somewhere near Boston.  A cruise south down the Atlantic Coast to Miami would be the order of the day, Miami being where we’d restock, refuel and do maintenance before heading out on the second stage.

That would take us on a rough circuit, from Miami east to Nassau in the Bahamas, down around the main Bahamian Island and then back west/northwest to Key West and back over to Miami.  More maintenance work would be performed before heading back home to recoup.

Other Stuff

On a trip such as this, with the journey lengths such as they are, a minimum of at least 1 additional person is going to be needed to drive the truck to-from the mainland launch & recovery destinations.  That’s assuming both my friend and I have enough endurance to take turns helming the boat ourselves–which probably wouldn’t be likely.  So we’re looking at a safe minimum of two additional people to join us–1 to drive the truck to/from various destinations as I said and then another to give us some help and also some company on the boat.

As far as food and consumables go–beer will be of the canned variety, a combination of Budweiser & PBR, stored in the wet bar fridge on deck (bottles take up too much space).  Omaha Steaks, Ball Park Hot Dogs & Johsonville Brats will occupy the rest of the room since there will be a gas/propane grill up top as well.

Now given that space is a premium, we’re working with a basic galley instead of a full kitchen and the fridge down below is only marginally bigger than the one up top…….bottled water, fruit (apples, oranges, limes), a carton or two of eggs, some ‘higher end’ beer–Corona & Woodchuck–and a little Dr. Pepper and/or Coke would be the items occupying fridge #2.  Canned goods (soup, baked beans, a veggie or two), easy mac, ramen, a canister or two of Folgers and a bottle or two of bourbon and there you have it—we’re set on foodstuffs.

Oh–can’t forget a good zippo (2-3 of these right here) along with a box of premium cigars (some of these) to help enhance the sunny, somewhat cloudy summer days as we cruise.

As far as entertainment and killing time goes……..movies are where its at.  2/3′rds of my massive collection consists of actual DVD’s.  That’s not a problem since there are 3 flatscreen TV/DVD players already–1 in the forward cabin, 1 in the salon/main cabin and 1 in the aft cabin.  The other 1/3rd of my collection is digitally stored–downloaded, ripped or otherwise.  So, to play *those* I’d bring along the lil hard drive they’re stored on and hook it up to a 17-inch MacBook Pro, maxed out naturally (for a total of $3,049).

Music is not a problem.  The Mac can act as jukebox down below, while up top, the audio setup has a total of 4 ‘AUX’ jacks for MP3 players, phones or other such devices.

Is it to late to turn back version 2

Is it to late to try and make things right again? My heart feels lost and alone. You were that source of joy at one point yet, I was still scared to believe you. I know the choice I made was the better choice for us in the long run, but right now I need you more then ever. I wake up at night hoping there will be a text but sadly there is none.

I wish that there was that voice or that one person in the night I could text if I was scared or had a bad dream but sadly not anymore. I have had dreams as if you were right there next to m,e but when I wake up there is only tears on my pillow because you are gone. I know I ended the relationship,  I know the choice was mine, yet there is a bad feeling like I lost my best friend through all of this as well.

Where is this coming from why are these thoughts invading my head. Why are memories of us that never happened playing through my head? I have peace about everything yet I still feel lost, alone, and scared. Am I meant to be alone?  God is there right besides me true and so are friends, but with someone who is always going to be there by my side? Is that to much to ask for? Is happiness a shot in the dark?

Is it to late to turn back now

Is it to late to try and make things right again? My heart feels lost and alone. You were that source of joy at one point yet, I was still scared to believe you. I know the choice I made was the better choice for us in the long run, but right now I need you more then ever. I wake up at night hoping there will be a text but sadly there is none.

I wish that there was that voice or that one person in the night I could text if I was scared or had a bad dream but sadly not anymore. I have had dreams as if you were right there next to m,e but when I wake up there is only tears on my pillow because you are gone. I know I ended the relationship,  I know the choice was mine, yet there is a bad feeling like I lost my best friend through all of this as well.

Where is this coming from why are these thoughts invading my head. Why are memories of us that never happened playing through my head? I have peace about everything yet I still feel lost, alone, and scared. Am I meant to be alone? Or am I just that worried about being alone that I push away or fight so that way it can not or will not happen?

Happy Reading Adam

Here I go again…

So it has been almost one week since my last blog entry. I do apologize for my delay in writing. I have just had so many  other thoughts going through my mind lately, normally to write is a release for me. But I have been having a hard time just being able to focus. It has been rather aggravating as well.

There is probably a underlining factor to why my mind has been drifting more then usual, but I have not been able to truly pin point what that is yet. I am glad I am not a writer with a dead line to get things turned in by. But at the same token, maybe that would be a good idea with my writing. To have a dead line so that way i will be able to focus more on the goal or the task ahead. So with that, i was looking over a previous blog I wrote about my new years resolutions. Writing the blogs by March was not the first thing on my list, but I have already completed that goal. Here is a preview of what that list looked like, into relation as to what I am talking about. Here is the first three anyway,instead I am going to write a list of goals that I have for the new and up coming year. If I get all of these goals accomplished we shall see with time and patience.

1) Get to over 100 blogs by March… that is when I started my blog and wow if they only knew what they were thinking when thy suggested me starting a blog lol.

2) By  April or May and if anyone wants to keep me in check for this one awesome…. have a plan figured out for going back to school by August. For those of you who know what a huge choice that would this would be a major step in the right direction for me.

3) Have a steady job and starting paying off  any bills that I have left to figure out try to get my fiances in order…. Another big goal for me. But something tells me 2012 is going to be good for me.

Number one has already been completed which was a huge step for me. I did not think I was going to come close to reaching that goal let alone any of these goals really. I knew I was going to come close, but never dreamed that I would actually make them. Number one has been done, now that I have gotten that done early I can move on to number two and three right? Well you would think so but sadly my motivation is not what it was when I had first wrote that list of goals.

So in regards to the school situation I know the type of degree I am going to study for and the minor in which I would like to peruse so that is  plus right? True but now what steps will it take me to get to that goal? That is the part I am still trying to figure out. Now in regards to a steady job, I am working as of right now. It is through a temp agency but it is still a job. But I would really like to get hired on by where I am working. Just so that way there is some tangibleness to my life right now. But that is just a dream right? Well truth be told only time will tell. Happy Reading, Adam

100!!!!

This may be a really short simple blog. Yes chances are it will be, but besides that point. I have reached number 100!!!! Ok now before anybody jumps to any conclusions or anything let me clarify. Wow I do like that word a lot, anyway I started my blog on March 14,2011. In no way did I ever think that I had that much to say.

It makes me wonder in all reality where my blog is going to be headed next. I really do enjoy the idea of writing a lot more then I ever have before which is good. It is unique when a T.V show hits 100 episodes it is a milestone.What happens when a author reaches 100 blogs? By no means am I a author as of yet but baby steps. I might look into a English class to help my writing along. See where it can or will take me next.

Like I said this is going to be a short random lol but still a happy blog for the most part. Today was a better day then I thought it was going to be. Woke up with a massive head ache which is never good. Cleaned up my apartment a little bit, then made lunch for a good friend. After that they had to run a earned so I ventured with them, then came home and took my afternoon nap. Wow ok I sounded a lot older then I am there lol. But  other then that today was a good day.

When I look back and see where my blogs have headed direction wise I can see where my faith is almost effected by my writing. I might try to do more in with that regard this next time around. But we shall see maybe next time I will go for 110 start small work my way from there. But anyway thank you to all my readers who have stuck by my side the entire time and thanks to the ones that have pushed me into writing a blog. Happy Reading Adam

Happy 100 blogs 🙂

Has it been that long already?

What on earth could I be talking about? If you think about it this title could refer to numerous things. But there is one topic in general that this is referring to. That is correct folks it has been 10 years since I graduated from high school well technically May would be ten years. But I thought I would dedicate this blog to my high school and some of the memories that I have from that time frame. Granted no clue how long this blog will end up but I am sure some of my loyal readers will not mind as much.

 

The Omaha Street School opened its doors in January 1999 with four students. Today enrollment ranges from 30 to 40 with an average classroom size of 8 to 10 students. Students at the Omaha Street School feel that they are valued as individuals, that they matter and that they are part of a nurturing family. Among the caring and compassionate instructors, staff, and volunteers, they find hope and gain self-esteem while increasing valuable self-sufficiency skills along with their education. I started attending in April of 1999 right after the Columbine shooting that happened. I remember that my principal used to play soft ball behind that school when he used to live in Colorado. He used to know some of the staff from that school as well, so I remember how difficult that time was for him.

When I started going there was 12 of us all together “the dirty dozen”. But in reality we were more like a close family.When I started the school was in the basement of a church. The church was Benson Baptist, the school offices were on the top floor. By the start of the fall semester we had grown so much that we were soon taking over the whole church. By that point it was time to find a bigger building in which we did. Oh by the way before I started going to the Omaha Street School I was home schooled, so it was a jump. But the staff really took me in along with all the students really. At times it seemed more like a  big family. But like any family there was fights and arguments.  We moved into the high school building at the old Nebraska School for the Deaf property. It was very cool to have our own building, we had various church groups bringing in lunch for us. Side note I started attending BBC as my home church.

In our 2001 year book this is the bio that was written about me. Adam says he is a “very religious 18 year old”. He was home-schooled throughout grade school and junior high and came to OSS when his parents read an article in the newspaper. He wants to be remembered for his kind and sensitive personality.(Really how could we ever forget? Adam is known for helping anyone who is less-fortunate or just plain down on their luck.)His favorite place to visit was San Diego because he got to see the ocean. (That spring I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Mexico on a missions trip.)

It is so interesting to go back and look what was written about you then and then look at where your life is now. In 2002 when I graduated this was written about me as well. Adam DeFrancesco, a.k.a “A.D”, has been at the Omaha Street School for 3 years. A.D is known as “Mr Faithful ” to the students, because he has a strong Christian faith and stands up for what he thinks is right. Adam says that the cartoon that best describes his personality is Yogi Bear, because Yogi is rough looking on the outside, but is really sweet. After he graduates from O.S.S AD wants to go to Nebraska Christian College to pursue Youth Ministry. In Adam’s opinion the best thing about being at the Omaha Street School is the fact that we are all like a big family. The students and staff will certainly miss you, A.D!

Wow to see that and now look at where my life is ten years latter is a huge eye opener but in a good way. I did attend NCC but I never got my degree, while I was there my ministry goal or focus did change to that of Missions. While I still have a huge heart of Youth Ministry if I could go back and do it over I would focus more on the Missions side of the degree. I still check in with the Omaha Street School about once or twice a semester just to do follow up. I have thought about giving back in someway or another. Maybe I should do something about that instead of just saying I will. Hmmm I will add that my list. Well Happy Reading, and God bless Adam.

For more information about the Omaha Street School go to http://www.omahastreetschool.org/