As I walk along life’s long, somewhat winding road, I seldom feel the urge to stop and take in the scenery around me. In the back of my mind, there exists a nagging thought, a thought that paralyzes me, causing me to resist this urge for fear of getting hurt. I know I’m tired of feeling this way, my mind aches at the thought. I’ve let this thought, this feeling guide my journey for far too long though and I am honestly afraid of getting hurt again. What if I get hurt though, so what? Yes it is a risk, but are we truly ever living life if we aren’t taking any risks? There are so many questions left unanswered, causing unsettling feelings from the past to race forward and fill the void. Until I answer those questions and deal with those feelings, I cannot move on. Why am I trapped in this pattern? The journey has a lot of twists and turns. Many paths, many trails ahead of me, each leading to a seemingly different destination. Alas, I must stay focused.
In front of me is a cross, behind me is the past. Beyond the cross is eternal life. While my past may try and burden me and weigh me down, my eyes are still focused on YOU. To the left and to the right my eyes wander, trying to figure out if the road less traveled would be the easier way to go. Instead I choose the path that is riddled with potholes, covered with seemingly endless burdens. As I approach the cross I sense no judgment, I sense no questioning as to what took me so long to get to this point. I sense freedom and newness, feelings that I have not felt since the days of my youth. My eyes slowly drift to a book, a book unlike nothing I have seen before. It gives me an indescribable sense of freedom to read the book, I feel like it was written just for me. I know that it was written for others as well. It is a love letter, from Abba my true Heavenly Father, who created me and is giving me this second chance at life.
As I fall to my knees I feel the burden becoming less and less heavy, I sense it leaving me all at once as if someone is taking it off of me. I look around and see no one. Before me is the cross ,as I am on my knees looking up someone hands me the book. I open the book to Isaiah 53,But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. My eyes start to water up but I still continue to read.He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
I start to wonder why? But at the same time I feel at peace, knowing that Jesus would go through all this for me. Shame started to sink in, I felt as if God was telling me directly to” have no fear. I loved you before the world was created, I knew you were going to wonder but My love for you has covered every wrong that you have committed. You are My Child my Prince or Princess and nothing will ever change that. Happy Reading, Adam