Wondering

So as I sit here and type i start to wonder what life may look like through a new set of eyes, As if someone could see into our true heart of hearts and know what we are thinking about ,and what our true motive may be even though we could never share. I guess a better question that I would have to ask myself through that process would be “why have I been feeling that way lately?” Do I sense that some people are not being honest with me? Or do I sense a stronger power inside of my self that want to comes out ….yet I am scared to let that side through.

Before we get any further, yes I know what some may be thinking that know me, and you might be partially right, Yes I am aware that God does know all of that knowledge but what if we could only possess  one-tenth of that. Would we always use that for the betterment of the world or would we turn around and use that to hurt those who claim that they love us the most and care for us? To be honest i am not sure what may have caused this random spark of insanity, but it has been having me think a lot lately on that subject. Just taking more of an observer lately just watching the things around me, not always having to feel like I need to voice my thoughts. I think someone worded it best a few weeks ago and called me a “devils advocate”. That is in interesting role to take into society, but to be honest more and more people need someone in there lives like that in order to fully process better.

We have always envisioned that little angle on one side and the little devil on the other. What if it was just one though not two?What if we honestly spoke what was on your minds instead of laying back and taking the scared view of what others may think? Eminem said something that I think we need to all think about “You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay ’em But you won’t take the sting out these words before I say ’em Cause ain’t no way I’ma let you stop me from causing mayhem When I say I’ma do something I do it,” WE all need to have that thought process but yet so many of us do not know how to step up and truly stand up and say that or act that way without feeling regret or shame or afraid that we are going to step on someone toes…. I would rather have someone be point blank honest with me forget the feelings being hurt and tell me the truth vs hiding back and trying to shed it another way,

Does that mean I am going to start taking that stand? I am hoping to start doing that more and more and you know what if your feelings get hurt tell me. I would rather be able to talk it out then one person walking mad or even worse loosing a friendship instead of “bitching “bout it through other people. I am done doing that as well those of you who are closest to me know I have a hard time speaking up not any more. If you do not like the truth do not come into the light. Happy Reading Adam

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