What does Thanksgiving really mean?

With Thanksgiving only a mear one day away, I thought I would take a moment and post a thankful blog. Now this blog will try to remain positive in my words, but it may surprise a few also as to what I am thankful for. Does that mean be scared? Oh yes buckle up and enjoy the ride, but in all seriousness this is going to be a good blog about thanksgiving.

When we think about Thanksgiving what are some of the first thoughts that come to mind? Could it be the history , the family tradition, the annual football game, or even for that the Macys Thanksgiving Parade? To me it might be the mixture of family getting together and the parade. Sad part about that is how many fights break out at the family tradition? Bringing up something that happened years ago, so certain family members do not come, or others are not as welcome due to the past? By no means is this a reflection of my own family, or for that matter any family I know, but in all the reality of the matter how hard is it to put aside for one day the fighting and just accept each other. Ort just let family know when the event is so they are not left in the dark.

Now the parade has traditions all within there own, I know some people that when they first wake up that is what they are looking for. They try not to miss any moments, they started watching it when they were kids and they still continue to watch it to this day.The tradition started in 1924,and it has been  televised nationally on NBC since 1952. For some that is there number one bucket list item to be able to go there. During the war there was no parade however due to everything else going on.But that is a good tradition that many americans enjoy and love year in and year out.

Now there is nothing wrong with tradition but this year try and be thankful for what you have and for those in your life. Open up to someone that may not have a family to celebrate with, open your hearts treasure that family time. And for that visitor you never know when they might be as close as family one day.Happy Reading, and Happy Turkey day.


Random thoughts compiled

As I sit down this evening to write this blog, my heart has a mixed emotion or feeling going into this. Did something happen to try and trigger this? Not really , but I am not sure what may have caused this “feeling”. The direction is still uncertain, I feel like I know the outcome though as it slowly approaches. But why do I seem to have this sudden doubt about who I am, or what direction I am supposed to travel towards. at times I often wonder if feelings, mixed with emotions, equal in all reality the free will that we have. But I guess another question would arise from that also, are feelings and emotions the same thing?

Like I mentioned in the first paragraph this blog is going to bee in all sorts of different routes , but yet on the outside of the matter I seem as if nothing is wrong, is that just a mask that we wear to let on to the illusion that nothing is wrong? what if we did open up to what was really going on? And expressed those fears, doubts and the reality, without trying to over burden those that do care how many would open up more? Random thought to go with that last group, who does a self help phone operator express to? Do Psychologist go see others to seek help them selves?  Is the door closed for seeking guinea help when you need it and open when times seem to be going ok? They always say the doors of the church are open , but how many times when you just wanted to go and pray in the middle of the night do you find the doors locked?

It really bothers me also that if someone has a passion for something a dream , but without the degree or  without having the financial backing most people can not accomplish those dreams. Yes I do realize that other doors into that field can be opened but even those doors seem to be short lived. So what then is the new dream supposed to be? Especially if we  feel like college or getting a degree is part of our plan. Or when we tell others about that dream, and  it is closed before our eyes because we are the only ones that have the dream.Or they do not want to support that dream, even though they have the same passion for the dream. As I mentioned this is a compilation blog, or a built up over everything. I am not trying to personally attack anyone or downgrade anyone through this blog.

Another thought I had when I first started this blog it was suggested by a friend, so that way I could express my self better. Does that mean he was in sense trying to pass me on but to a wider audience? Or did he believe that as a writer I had true potential? I am not sure why but that thought that’s been going through my head a lot lately. If as a writer I do have the potential to write where do i look to start doing that? What would be the next steps for that? Anyway Happy reading, Adam

Save You

Where has my mind be at lately, it seems as if my mind is traveling  in a bunch of different directions. But why has my mind drifted towards friends, am I missing a bigger picture with there lives? Or does it seem like I have put some friendships in the back burner and not looking back, without thinking about it. It feels as if some friends that I wish could reenter and try and re build the friendships of the past. But why am I feeling this way? Am I not happy in the current circumstance that I am in, or am I wanting the dream that was once lost? But what do I mean by Save You?

I feel as if there are friendships that sadly I let go of, grrr but I mean that was for the best right? Some of those friendships may have been holding me back from my true potential of who I could have been or for that matter who I am. But yet the “Christian ” side of me still wants to try and reach out to them? To rebuild and re kindle, the question is have I lost someone so close to me in death that I feel like I have missed that chance? But yet why do I put so much pressure on the situation, there is more then just me to reach out right? Or another aspect what if I had not been there for some of the youth that I have mentored?

I am not sure where this side is coming from, is it a new passion to write or to reach out in some sort of way through my blog to those who may be , might be, or could be hurting? I guess those answers can only and honestly comes from those who may read this. But if you do read my blog, and if you need any type of help feel free to reach out. I will be there to cry with you and hold you up if need be, to listen to your dreams and to help encourage. But remember you are never alone.


Memories from a time ago

So a thought was going through my head earlier today and thought I would share. The inventor of the radio was his heart already broke or did he not feel at all? Interesting way to start a blog I do have to agree with  that statement my self, and just to clarify in advance me and my fiance and the girls are doing amazing. But still it is interesting how such a little reminder a song a glance a memory can come back out of no where and almost try and shock you. Or if it does shock you try and throw off everything about your day. And try and make you wonder what that time would be like again. Does that mean I want to try and relive those past memories? Or even try and track the past down and try to somehow remedy it?

That is the part of the past i am not sure on, or even if the pain the heart ache is really worth it. I think that is why it is so hard to see friends out of my life, meaning memories are something that I can never seem to erase either good or bad. That is why it is hard for me to let go of the hurt at times, or why I still act a certain way when something triggers that memory. I know I am not alone here on this feeling I am aware that others do feel this way also. But yet for this over sized teddy bear whose heart is out there for all to see , it is hard to fake the emotion of how I am feeling. I know that is why it also hard for me to be able to express how I am feeling on a personal level also. For example if I am upset or angry. I do not want the memory to end on a negative note by any means.

Gee I seriously hate that part of me yes I do try and figure this all out in my mind before I express it but yet, I feel like I need my own editor at all times being able to translate my idea better then i can express it. Is that why I retreat to a time of the past a era before I was born, could that be why i like the classic movies more then the new ones? Am I saying that my life would have been picture perfect? Well lets take a glance here remember this is a dream “Born  1922 Omaha Nebraska , grew up went to school, saw the family struggle during the depression. Got a job at the soda  counter  to help support, was starting to venture to college but volunteered for   World War 2. Served my country came back on the GI bill got a job at my dad’s, lawyer office as a secretary, married my high school sweet heart two kids supported them so my wife could stay at home with the kids . Saw them go to school  graduate and head to college . My son served in Vietnam came back paralyzed my daughter became a hippy but still loved her. worked hard everyday till I could retire ”

Now lets look at the reality born 1982 baby of the family two older sisters , home schooled high school trough he Omaha Street School, went to college at Nebraska Christian College went for a degree in missions did not graduate went to New Zealand and Vietnam  worked a total of 10 or so jobs since I was in high school had a few failed relationships, but then meet Melissa and her two kids whom I love with everything that I have.  Wow the dream vs the reality of the choices lol  Happy Reading Adam

Batjac production company…

John_wayne_challenge_of_ideas_screenshot_2When we think of the different types of hats that John Wayne wore through out his career, most of us will think of actor, a few might remember he did direct two movies. But how many of us have thought of him running his own production company? Well in 1952 that is exactly what he did,it was originally called Wayne-Fellows productions but then latter changed to Batjac. It first started in 1952 and ran through 1974, from 1960 through 1974 most of those films with the exception of a TV show “Hondo “in 1967 most of the latter films had just stared John Wayne. But what about before 1960, what about post 1974? What ever happened to this production company? Why After John Wayne’s death have we not seen any films made by them for either tv or the cinema.

My goal through this post is to be talking more about the “other” films produced by Wayne, and maybe also shed some light on what happened to his production company. First lets look into why Wayne would want to start his own production company, the year was 1952 Duke had already had one Oscar nomination under his belt had been acting in Hollywood since 1928, so why not start your own production company? Well for a star to able to do that at that time was unheard of,only directors were really doing that and they were far and few.Bu at the same time why not produce movies and make some profit out of them? Why not make movies that you do not have to star in but that you could over see? Why not give some up and coming along with a few veterans that chance to direct or star in there movie? Batjac Productions is an independent film production company founded by John Wayne in the early 1950s as a vehicle for Wayne to produce as well as star in movies.

Wayne and producer Robert Fellows founded Batjac in 1952 as  Wayne/Fellows Productions.  When Fellows left the company several years later,  Wayne re-named the corporation after a fictitious trading company mentioned in the 1948 film Wake of the Red Witch. The company name in Wake of the Red Witch was spelled Batjak,  but Wayne’s secretary misspelled it as Batjac on the corporation papers, and Wayne let it stand. Having his own company gave Wayne artistic control over the films he made.There first film was in 1952 Big Jim Mclain there lsit film they produced was MCQ 1974. One of the early directors that Wayne used for his production company was william Wellman, He had a good working relationship with him , he directed Duke in three  movies Island in the sky 1953, High and the Mighty 1954 and Blood Alley 1955. All together Wellman directed six  movies. John Farrow directed two movies and Budd Boetticher directed one movie. Andrew McLaglen 5 movies also. A lot of known directors like Hathaway stepped up and directed a few movies also. But why after 1973 did Batjac fold under? Was it financial was it more of a personal reason? Those are a lot of questions I would  love to find answers to but sadly no information is found about the latter days. With Michael Wayne Duke’s own son the head of the company why did they not continue to make Westerns for either Film or TV?

I understand Duke had the dream to start the company and I understand his vision for films, but was the vision lost?Those are questions that can only be answered by Duke himself and the sunset has sat around him. The company was passed on to his son and latter to Michaels wife who know owns the company since Michael Wayne’s  passing. But through that a lot of Duke movies have been saved and restored “The High and the Mighty,Island in the Sky  to name a few. Happy Reading Adam

Which Direction?

directionAt times it is hard to figure out which path will help guide you in the direction that you want to head towards. But yet that is part of the journey we are on right? To try and figure out which path we are supposed to take, through trial and sometimes error? Does that mean we are just going to sit there and ponder about the idea or even for that matter dream about which we are supposed to head before we take that path and hope that is the best choice? By no means am I saying we are just supposed to sit back and view life as it comes towards us but what if we did?

Just think if life was like a two-way mirror, and you could see that glimpse of our lives within a few years and now which path we are supposed to take? Would that make it any easier, or would that just make us want to give up and just in a sense roll over and play dead? It is a complex thought to try and examine, there are others who have also tried to cover this topic as well. So is this going to be a self help guide to figuring out which path “we” are supposed to take, or is this going to be one of those reads where you ask your self what is the next step “I” am going to take. Over the course of the lives we live, there is always a few moments that we think define who our character is going to be, or for those who grew up in a “church” or a “religious” type of background we have been taught that prayer and God will help guide our directions.

So many of turn to friends as well to help us try and figure out the complex areas and hope that they will give us some sort of guidance and resource. But how many of those friends will be there when you fall short? when you admit that you need help but then there backs are turned? Are friends the wrong direction? That is going to have to be something each one figures out for there own. Is school the right answer. for some yes but what happens when you graduate? No offense you can not keep coming there each day in and out trying to get some sort of direction or advice, but I could see how school could help with a guidance factor to try and help you plan for that feature.

The question that really travels through the universe for direction is this” If there is so much out there for needing direction then why can’t the path be found?” Could it be there is to much out there? Or could it be that “we” are scared to fail so we never reach the true potential that “we” have?  And to think that there was going to be some sort of resolution to this blog! So where does that leave us in all reality  back to square one trial through error and through the fire. Happy Reading Adam