So a thought was going through my head earlier today and thought I would share. The inventor of the radio was his heart already broke or did he not feel at all? Interesting way to start a blog I do have to agree with that statement my self, and just to clarify in advance me and my fiance and the girls are doing amazing. But still it is interesting how such a little reminder a song a glance a memory can come back out of no where and almost try and shock you. Or if it does shock you try and throw off everything about your day. And try and make you wonder what that time would be like again. Does that mean I want to try and relive those past memories? Or even try and track the past down and try to somehow remedy it?
That is the part of the past i am not sure on, or even if the pain the heart ache is really worth it. I think that is why it is so hard to see friends out of my life, meaning memories are something that I can never seem to erase either good or bad. That is why it is hard for me to let go of the hurt at times, or why I still act a certain way when something triggers that memory. I know I am not alone here on this feeling I am aware that others do feel this way also. But yet for this over sized teddy bear whose heart is out there for all to see , it is hard to fake the emotion of how I am feeling. I know that is why it also hard for me to be able to express how I am feeling on a personal level also. For example if I am upset or angry. I do not want the memory to end on a negative note by any means.
Gee I seriously hate that part of me yes I do try and figure this all out in my mind before I express it but yet, I feel like I need my own editor at all times being able to translate my idea better then i can express it. Is that why I retreat to a time of the past a era before I was born, could that be why i like the classic movies more then the new ones? Am I saying that my life would have been picture perfect? Well lets take a glance here remember this is a dream “Born 1922 Omaha Nebraska , grew up went to school, saw the family struggle during the depression. Got a job at the soda counter to help support, was starting to venture to college but volunteered for World War 2. Served my country came back on the GI bill got a job at my dad’s, lawyer office as a secretary, married my high school sweet heart two kids supported them so my wife could stay at home with the kids . Saw them go to school graduate and head to college . My son served in Vietnam came back paralyzed my daughter became a hippy but still loved her. worked hard everyday till I could retire ”
Now lets look at the reality born 1982 baby of the family two older sisters , home schooled high school trough he Omaha Street School, went to college at Nebraska Christian College went for a degree in missions did not graduate went to New Zealand and Vietnam worked a total of 10 or so jobs since I was in high school had a few failed relationships, but then meet Melissa and her two kids whom I love with everything that I have. Wow the dream vs the reality of the choices lol Happy Reading Adam