Go the Distance

I am on my way, into a vast unknown and yet unsure of what the future will look like. Is it a place of doubt, shame, regret, or past feelings? Or is a time for better things yet to be? A place where hope is, happiness, a sense of where I might belong. Only I can say where that may be, but what would be the journey without the climb? Every mile be worth the while, but why not take a moment and enjoy the scene as well.   Happy Reading, Adam

Say Goodbye

It seems hard to say goodbye even if it is for the best possible reason, the roads have been crossed to try and reach a resolution, but there comes a point when you just need to say goodbye. After so many years of friendship of both up and downs, why does it hurt still when we no longer talk? Seven years of friendship, and I feel as if I have lost the closest fried that I ever had. Worst part there is no point trying to reach out when there is no response, would there be a point of reason when “you” do not even want t make an effort to listen.

Would sorry, even come close to the words that you need to hear? Not per say from “my self” but from the others as well who built up walls around as well. There have been others, yet the reaction does not seem the same as it was for “us”. Friendship at one point meant through everything, when we are kids the fights did not seem to last as long, the nights without communication did not seem to hurt. For the next day at the playground the friendship started over again, but as “we” get older it seems to take more and more to rebuild the friendship.

The memories are still there, for I remember the way it used to be when nothing else seemed to matter just “friends” hanging out as a group. getting some food and then a beer or two. But now the memories are starting to fade, the jokes have no effect anymore. At times to reach down and restart, but let “us” remember that would take both of “us” not just one. Even if the friendship started over again, back to the basic.  But is it to late?I have reworded the question before. But is it ? Happy Reading, Adam

I have a feeling

I have a feeling where it is going to be one of those nights again, where sadly I will not be getting much sleep if any at all. For some reason or another my mind has not been able to turn its self off at night,granted I may get some sleep but is it enough? Do I seem more agitated through out the day? At times , but when you are not able to sleep what then can you do? Do I try and rest my brain or try and relax? Well of course I do, but then again why am I not able to process the sleep that I need? A lot of questions but for each answer that I do have more questions seem to follow. I know this seems like the only logical answer, but is it normal to actually worry about that feeling?

I wonder if at times, if I even make any sense to the fact of what I am trying to say, or being able to express my feelings without coming across any particular way. I assure you my readers out there, that I am the same person outside of this blog as the one who writes. But bare in mind that this is the side that seldom comes out due to not opening up. I feel more relational through my blog, meaning I can express what I am saying and am prepared for the feed back regardless of what it may be. But in person a totally different story. In person it may take me a while to be able to come up with the response that I am looking for, but through my writing I feel as if I can debate, relate and also come across stronger then in the “reality world”. The fear of public speaking ,but the art or the practicality of public blogging well that is another story. Writing to me is a dream/reality of the situation, I may use a lot of first person such as using I and already am aware that my editing may need some work. But to say the least the dream is still there.Happy Reading, Adam

The closer we get

The closer we get, the more nervous we become that in turn could relate to anything really. starting jr high/high school ,  the new job, a first date leading to asking for the engagement, leading to the wedding. And then from there the first birth, becoming a grand parent to retirement and then finally to death. The closer we get to really anything in life, to not even major things it is interesting as the closer we get the more we start to question, even doubt a little in our mind if this is a reality or if it is just a nice dream. What could cause this self doubt and fear? Where does our psyche cause the adrenaline to be such a build up leading to the doubt and fear, only to be surprised in the end about how positive the research comes from.

Now where could this be coming from? What could cause the dreams to lead to the reality of the situation without the fear and the doubt? Is there anyway to overlook the fear, and just to focus on the positive interaction of whatever it could be in reality? Does “Hollywood” paint a fake interpretation of what reality could be? Do they just have the dream and not focus on the hardships of everyday reality? Would the world be shocked if a major film star decided to just shed everything to see if they could survive on the street for a week? Without a phone, money, or anyway to contact? And they filmed the 24 hours. now what does this have to deal with the closer we get? I think sadly as a culture, we are about to be classed like that, now just for correction we are already classed like that. But I think it is only to get worse……. the closer we get…. Happy Reading, Adam

Directions 2

Over the course of the lives we live, there is always a few moments that we think define who our character is going to be, but who is the one to determine when those moments come? Now for some that moment might be a wide eyed 4 am moment after thinking that your life was over, for others it could be that moment when you first truly realize that you are loved and that God is always going to be there and forgive you. For others it might be that moment when you are drunk and you realize who knows what the answer could be. But we all have those moments and we have to figure out what we are going to do with those moments next.

Oh yeah now here comes the hard part so many of need to learn. When we have those moments we can feel free to tell others of course but if they are not all “happy, excited or over joyed ” Do not let there downfall negativity bring you down from following your dreams. Remember the choice is up to you….. ““It is not our abilities that show what we truly are.  It is our choices.”  That quote by the way is from Harry Potter Choices can be defined more by moments more by chance, but the choice to live and die is up to you and me. Now let me clarify that a bit better, you have the choice to live or the choice to die, now that moment might not come now, it might come a lot latter. But step by step and day by day we need to wake up and remember that life is worth living.  Now to sum up this blog with a quote from Lord of the Rings ““All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” Happy Reading Adam

A Knight

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To be a knight there was a code of honor to be defined. The knight servant hood lied to the King. The knight often served on his own but was never alone, at the same time.A narrowing of the generic meaning “servant” to “military follower of a king or other superior”. Now what a interesting way to start a blog, if your thinking was the same as mine that would be the wrong answer.

So the question is why would I decide to write a blog about a knight? To some degree this is addressed to all the gentleman out there who may read this. Are we going into battle? And who are we to protect? Those might have been some of the question that followed that last thought. The answer is Yes we are going into a battle, but not the type of battle that you might be thinking.Yes…

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“Two Days”

So it has been two days since my last blog, and you may be wondering what all may be going on in my so-called interesting life since last we chatted. Well let me fill you all in on the so-called interesting life I lead, well to start with I guess a good place would be to start at the very start lol. I was born, not I do not mean I was born two days ago, oh wait to far back? I do so humbly ask for your forgiveness, I retract my last statement. But oh the joy of the blog, So two days ago was Sunday and not a to interesting of a Sunday in the way of Sundays, woke up and went to “church”, now with my job it has been hard for me to get Sundays off . So to say the least I was happy to be able to go, and enjoy the time of fellowship and unity. We have been in the book of Proverbs for who knows how long now, it is a good book but when you are going verse by verse it seems to just keep going and going.

But it does provide some interesting side topics for us to open up and discuss and things of that nature. Wow I just realized that I started a new paragraph like mid thought… anyway back on topic now. After church me and my family decided to go to the zoo since the weather was very nice and enjoyable that day.Downside we did not get to see the lions, or the aquarium which are two of my favorite areas to say the least. But overall a good day. Monday came and went,work time with the kids while Melissa was working. Over all nothing to exciting that day, Oh yeah probably the real highlight for that day was getting some bubble tea before I went to work that day, Anyway, Happy Reading Adam

“Only God knows why”

Now where would a title for a blog come from? Did something happen to make me question something , or was it more of a song that  I heard? Well to be honest it was a song, Now be on the look out, there are a few choice words in this song that may not be the best lyrics ever.

How many times do we question the plan that God has for us, only to be turned down hurt burned with no sense of what may be going on? To be honest I feel as if we have all been there to many times, but remember that God is there for us and us always willing to accept us back into the family. Am I in the authority of any kind to really wonder what may be going into our day in and day out lives and question the plan that God has for us? I can only speak for my self here, but even I wonder what the plan is that God has for me,only to realize that it may be two steps forward and one step backwards. Or in some random circumstances the reverse of that plan as well,grrr I wish that it more just plan black and white,I know that it is , but how many times do we still question everything that we have been thought? I know I have been down that road before, and I feel as if I may be starting down that same path again,

But wait at the same time who is in charge of the life I live? So I understand that God has the blue prints, but He has left us as the architect to over see the plans come about, but we are supposed to seek Him with our chooses right? So who’s live is this again?

Just something to think about…. Happy Reading , Adam

So we have the dream, we know where to start whats next?

Like the title implies,we have the dream, and know where to start but what is next? To me the next logical thing to do would be to follow that dream, looking into where to start,meaning get some ideas flowing and seeing where the road less traveled may lead. But what if we are scared to seek that dream out, we have had other dreams shared them but only to see them fall flat, or to see nobody else believe in the dream? Time to rise again and get up and get going. Nobody can truly help you achieve the dreams unless, you are willing to reach out and seek first.  But what if you have tried before to seek the help but the door closes? Does that mean to mope around for the next however many days, months, and so forth? No that means to get back up and try again, remember this is not a video game, mainly reference to the older ones such as Mario Brothers where you get three lives.

But the point is how long are you supposed to sit around and feel sorry for your self before you move on? Granted life just sucks and you never know witch way to head or go,

Lets remember what Tom Petty is saying here Wont back down, and standing our ground. How many times when we do get discouraged that we just want to give up and just turn away? That is not the road we are supposed to take, we are supposed to take the higher road and look towards the future. Now I am not saying that the road will get easier but know this you can lean on me when times get hard…

Happy Reading, Adam

Where to start?

So where do I start being able to write about topics? Or for that matter do I have a list or a notebook of choices to choose from, or are they just ideas that are compiled going through my head? To be honest they are just a mixture of everything, a compiled mixture. Picture with me if you  will a blender, and you have a lot of different ingredients to make something really good. Well not always good per say but that is the goal right? Well that is my form of writing, meaning I have a lot of ideas and then when they are finished well you have my blog. But how can I as a amateur writer advance, how can I reach a wider audience?

Where can I learn to expand my skills as a writer, and be able to focus better and take my passion to the next level?  Where do I start doing that, or in other words what are the first steps that I need to take to reach that goal?  I want to try and develop my skill and advance it. This something that I have been praying about and I am thinking that is the direction that I need to head towards, but the question that remains is where do I go to start this venture. We know some of the struggles that I have had thus far in school, but I know that may be the direction I need to head towards. So what am I asking from you my readers? Never thought you would be asked that sort of question in my blog, well to clarify that question has not been asked in sometime. I need my “fellowship” I need a group of people to step beside me as I look into taking this next step. Could I do this on my own is it possible? Can I advance on my own yes but can I make it far?

When I think about this song I think more about the movie, Kermit had the dream to go to Hollywood and started out on his own, but he knew that he could never reach that goal on his own. But through the journey he ran into others to help him, encourage his dream, keep pushing him froward even though they knew that the risk alone would be an adventure, But then also I think of two “hobbits”  from two different backgrounds , one with no sense of adventure wanting to leave while his nephew is always ready for some sort of adventure, nothing stopped them reaching those goals. They had there own fellowship to help them with the journey. Do I have a group, do I have the people in my life anymore to help and encourage me to reach the goals? Or is it more wishful thinking and praying about needing but then not seeing any follow up? Anyway I know that one day the goals or wishes will be meet as long as I keep pressing forward. Happy Reading, Adam